Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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