Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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