Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize