um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
