It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
