I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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