Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I look better un-naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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