Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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