i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize