alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
