I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
