Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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