So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I want you more than these girls want KFC
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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