he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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