new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
