the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
