Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
