is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
