Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
