Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
