this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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