Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
