As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we're so committed to being not committed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
