You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
