Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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