does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
