problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize