i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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