I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?