we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
FUCK WHALES
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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