Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
