Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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