just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
