you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The air was thick with penises
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
