Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If I die, sorry about rent.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
