Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
