I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
