Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize