No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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