She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
