So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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