I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
