There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
