it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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