I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
