we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
