i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
