Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
