Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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