my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
