Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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