i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
