haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
