Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
