she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
