you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His hands were made for my vagina.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
