I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
