just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
