Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize