Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
