If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize