if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
