so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize