This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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