Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
