waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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