All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
